Mutton's short story thread

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Expand view Topic review: Mutton's short story thread

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon Jul 06, 2020 12:28 pm

He hadn't had a shit for six months so he approached the toilet with great trepidation. He really had to go this time.
He sat down and strained and pushed and he felt a small movement ......
....his arse split open, then wider and wider. It was like the dead sea opening. Out it all came together with all his intestines and guts.
He bled to death, never getting to wipe his arse for a last time.

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon Jul 06, 2020 12:18 pm

Good try but it needs some work.....

Re: Mutton's turd story thread

by Guest » Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:30 pm

I took a poo. Then wiped my bottom.

The end.

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:41 am

He had always wanted to catch a bullet in his mouth. It was his sixth attempt. He pointed the rifle upwards and fired. His mouth was agape as he waited for the bullet's downwards trajectory.
No fucking luck again. He had no idea where the bullet had gone.
"Fuck this, next time I'll try one of my knives" he thought as he walked back to his trailer home.....

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:54 am

He'd spent twenty years and plenty of tears growing, grafting and perfecting his techniques. He wept for it all had come to fruition. Yes at last.
He'd grown an orange on a banana tree and a banana on an orange tree.
The orange on the banana tree looked and tasted like a banana.
The banana on the orange tree looked and tasted like an orange.
He was a fucking genius.
He waited for the world to come to his door ........

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:54 am

She bent
He shot
They came
He went


a bit of erotica for all you wankers

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Tue Jun 23, 2020 2:57 am

.........he shrugged off the memory. He paused for a drink. He sipped the Coca Cola, it was refreshingly cold. He realised he was hungry. He took a Mars Bar out of his Levi jeans pocket. He felt better already. His Nike trainers cushioned his feet like slippers. How long had he been climbing ? He glanced at his Apple Watch - 2 Hours now - He loved that watch - all Apple products in fact. "I should be at home playing on my PS4 he thought " "can't wait for the PS5 out later this year". His mind was wandering.......


some of this tale has been sponsored

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Tue Jun 23, 2020 2:39 am

........ and climbed. He needed to rest. A scream pierced the silence. He stopped, took a breath, sweat dripped down his back. A gigantic face manifested itself out of the wall.
"Fuck me " he thought " It ..." " It's fucking Eric f.f ffrom boarding school " .... " that fucker stole my ............

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by Guest » Mon Jun 22, 2020 7:52 am

Image

Re: Mutton's short story thread

by ChrisMuttonshutter » Mon Jun 22, 2020 3:15 am

He'd entered the Labyrinth of his own accord and there seemed no escape now. To go left or right. The only way he could see the light was straight up, that's the way he went. He climbed and climbed. The only way was up. Missiles rained down on him. He ignored them. He paused for a breath. Something called out to him. He continued ever onward and upwards.
He ventured to the side. Nothing there. Upwards then. He knew the climb would never end, Damascus was a long way off. He climbed ...........

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