Someone please help me I need your advice right now!

[Fart Questioner]

When I fart, it smells so bad that I gag. Right now I just farted, and it made me have to puke in the sink.

How can I get my farts to start smelling really good like you all do here? I would like to join your club and learn the secrets of fart huffing so to end my suffering and start living in endless bliss.

[~ Fart Guru ~]

Be careful son, one can overdo it and fall into a fart coma for many years.

[my ass smells purty]

Chug a quart of febreze