Update on Raymond (Chrismuttonshutter)

[Alfie Davies]

Friends, Raymond (you know him as Chrismuttonshutter) is not well. You may have noticed he's not very active here at the moment. He has been locked up in the bariatric ward of the Ilford hospital again with no access to the outside world. It's for his own good. His obsession with eating faeces is out of control and he was admitted to the hospital with severe bacterial infections in his blood as well as his gums from all the shit he eats. The walls of his room in the basement were smeared with faeces too and he hasn't been able to clean his own ass (arse) in weeks after defecating. He's on several rounds of strong antibiotics now. Dr. Finklestein says he will survive, but he needs to be watched closely for a while. His pedophile tendencies have also been acting up so he had to be locked up under guard.
We have to protect Ray from himself and we have to think of the children in his neighbourhood. We will also provide support for Bev Muttonshutter, Ray's mother. Although she often claims her son is a monster, it is still her son and she still feels somewhat responsible.

Please pray for Ray. We hope you will warmly greet him back when he returns. If you have any concerns or have any wishes of encouragement for Raymond, please post them here and I'll convey them back to him.

Regards,
Alfie Davies from the IPAA

[Guest]

Not this shit again. HI oldpyjama

[Dr. Finklestein]

Although Mr. Hewitt has been admitted to our ward once again, we have taken measures that we feel will prevent the issues which occurred last time from repeating themselves. Mr. Hewitt has been secured to his bed with cargo straps (similar to the type usually seen on lorries carrying logs down the highway system) and we've repurposed an old hot tub into a rolling bedpan. This should be a large enough container to contain the patient's bowel movements, though Mr. Hewitt has gained a significant amount of weight since his last stay in the Bariatric Ward. He is now up to 176 stone, which simply should not be possible. We will be contacting the Guinness Book of World Records once this figure has been sufficiently validated.

The patient has indeed arrived with a series of bacterial infections, including many species of bacteria that were only just discovered in Raymond. We can only imagine the level of filth that would produce such results - and quite frankly, we'd rather not. He is currently being treated with large doses of antibiotics that have previously only been used in aquariums on large aquatic creatures such as whales. We have no idea if this will work - only that he is simply too large for human sized doses of human medicine to be of any use.

[OldPyjama]

Please tell Chris to throw himself from the stairs and break his neck, that enormous fag.

[Bev Muttonshutter]

I really haven't a clue how the NHS was able to get Chrissy back into the Bariatric Ward, never mind into a room. He's positively enormous nowadays. I overheard one of the orderlies referring to him as an "absolute unit," which I suppose is something the young people say nowadays.