Was taking a super massive smelly dump like I normally do and noticed a pattern....

[Cornpop's Revenge]

My dumps have been becoming more smelly and more massive than ever before. They load me down like a freight train until I unleash them into the wild. I was sitting on the throne pondering this and other scientific theories when I realized that soon enough my dumps will no longer be dumps, they will either convert into antimatter or condense into some type of singularity that will create a supermassive black hole destroying our entire solar system to compete with the black hole at the center of our galaxy. I have to get to NASA very quickly with this information, but I wanted to spread it to you all here first, since I believe I owe it to you. Please shelter in place and await further instructions! This is NOT A DRILL!

[RightWingConspirator]

Please hurry, sounds like there's no time to waste!