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With this statement Mister Hewitt, you have shown yourself to be an exemplary subject of the Great British Crown. I have thus determined that you are worthy of Knighthood, and so I bestow upon you the title of Sir Muttonshutter of Ilford. Arise, Sir Muttonshutter. May thy fat rolls be as numerous as the waves in the ocean, and may thy harem of bald faggots be ever growing in number.
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