ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

500 topics on each page. Start your own discussion on any subject.
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22083

Post by Guest »

U seem upset
User avatar
RightWingConspirator United States of America
Posts: 2965
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2018 8:02 pm
Location: Down in a hole.
Mood:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22084

Post by RightWingConspirator »

Still farting.
I love you all, my fart brothers and sisters. And niggAz too.
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22106

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

Derek had nothing in is sad sad world except farts
He had no children so the world was spared ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Raymond P Hewitt Great Britain
Posts: 244
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 1:58 am
Location: Ilford Pedophiles Anonymous
Mood:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22134

Post by Raymond P Hewitt »

I raped my son
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22265

Post by Guest »

Nobody liked him, his breath smelt of poo. His Name is Chris, and he is YOU.
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22268

Post by Guest »

Once upon a time


Raypond raped his son.

The end
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22669

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

They all looked into the sky for the new messiah ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22692

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

.... and he looked familiar ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#22696

Post by Guest »

Only you can lead us forward in these difficult times of change.
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23095

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

The fat controller fucked off to a life of bliss with his fat wife.
The two kids left in charge grinned but had no fucking idea how to get the train going.
On the platform every fucker went home as the giraffe peed on the track.
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23168

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

He couldn't decide if he should retire to his bed for another period of contemplation.
Decisions Decisions ....
The giraffe was no help at all.
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23173

Post by Guest »

I feel like the giraffe storyline is becoming a bit stale now mate.
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23181

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

An avid fan wrote: Thu Dec 29, 2022 6:37 pm I feel like the giraffe storyline is becoming a bit stale now mate.
Many thanks for being a fan and reader of my stories and for your constructive criticism
Most of my readers and the population of the shithole are generally of a lower IQ than normal and I feel putting a "constant" in my stories gives them comfort and a certain feel good that they lack in real life.
Please feel free to have a go yourself if you desire and print it here in this famous thread, I have no ego that will be bruised and look forward to your effort, or are you just a critic who has no talent (rhetorical).

-------------

The giraffe looked up at the sound of his name, he knew he was famous but didn't realise how much so.
He ate some of the fading christmas tree and shat a little poo, then went for a sleep.
The owl hooted in disgust ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23183

Post by Guest »

What colour is the owl?
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23185

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

The owl was furious, that fucking giraffe got all the fucking attention.
She preened her golden black and amber feathers, then swooped on an innocent dormouse and pecked its eyes out.
In the distance, the late ferry departed ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23186

Post by Guest »

I'm hooked all over again. :smile: I can't wait to hear the next installment.
User avatar
ChrisMongohomo Great Britain
Posts: 185
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 7:32 pm
Location: NHS Bariatric Ward

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23189

Post by ChrisMongohomo »

Here's a sad one m8s

The sausage rolled off his plate onto the floor
Like many Brits, he was too fat to fetch it, but he was fatter than most
The phallic shape of the sausage reminded him of a proud British tradition
Buggery
He sighed, his food out of reach, already soiled on the dirt floor of his mum's shanty
Buggery used to pay the bills
Not anymore
Not since the AIDS diagnosis
Not since he became too fat for buggery
Mum had to do all the work
All that's left now, is the Bariatric Ward and a horrid little iPad
:biggrin:
User avatar
Guest

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23190

Post by Guest »

ChrisMongohomo wrote: Sat Dec 31, 2022 12:50 am Here's a sad one m8s

The sausage rolled off his plate onto the floor
Like many Brits, he was too fat to fetch it, but he was fatter than most
The phallic shape of the sausage reminded him of a proud British tradition
Buggery
He sighed, his food out of reach, already soiled on the dirt floor of his mum's shanty
Buggery used to pay the bills
Not anymore
Not since the AIDS diagnosis
Not since he became too fat for buggery
Mum had to do all the work
All that's left now, is the Bariatric Ward and a horrid little iPad
You give more information about yourself than you meant to m8 :biggrin:
Ta
User avatar
ChrisMuttonshutter Great Britain
Posts: 1361
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:52 am
Location: Your own personal JESUS ....
Mood:
Contact:

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23206

Post by ChrisMuttonshutter »

A new year appeared from the embers of the old one, yet everyone seemed upset.
"Not me" came the response from the Giraffe, "Nor me", hooted the Owl as it ate the entrails of a dead Belgian tourist.
In the distance, a dead Goldfish was flushed down a toilet as bombs fell.
A lone fat bald man of Irish descent scanned the ads for a girlfriend and wept ....
Moral Turpitude Specialist
User avatar
ChrisMongohomo Great Britain
Posts: 185
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 7:32 pm
Location: NHS Bariatric Ward

Re: ChrisMuttonshutter's short story thread

#23217

Post by ChrisMongohomo »

He hadn't seen the giraffe or the owl all day
Mum won't let him sniff glue anymore
Reality is awful dull when you weigh 138 stone
His insulin pump activated with a whirr
Where was his old m8 Greg with today's delivery?
12 orders of pie and chips isn't much... but it would have to do
:biggrin:
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No User AvatarAhrefs [Bot], No User AvatarSemrush [Bot] and 0 guests